perspective

the last few days I have had cherese staying with me. cherese is like a bit of a sister to me; we sharehoused together for a few years in melbourne, at really confusing times in our lives, and though we are completely different people, developed this deep mutual respect (I assume it's mutual anyways). she also happened to spend a chunk of her childhood living in queensland, and some of that on the sunshine coast, so we 'get' eachother in that subtropical kind of way. today we bought the biggest mangoes either of us had ever seen, went to a waterfall, and then euphorically rubbed them all over our pasty freckled bodies. qld

these days I spend so much time alone and happily adrift in the countryside, now with plans to do that in a mobile kind of way, so there is something very grounding about being placed back into some kind of context as a human being. to be reminded of my history, my story. it has been a pretty strange ride. remembering that makes me feel stronger. nine years ago I moved to melbourne with this sense that city life and academia would satiate my anxieties. my biggest lesson, which I am still learning, is that cities blow and that my primary motivation in life is to find that one thing that they can never provide; peace and fucking quiet. you don't satiate anxieties, you only grow them. the only remedy is starvation i.e. simplicity. ofcourse not everyone needs to live in a cabin in the countryside to manifest simplicity - which is excellent because I'd rather everyone stay over there and just sort their shit out in the city - but I do

I'm not sure what this post is even about. basically hanging out with old friends is good and grounding. my trajectory has purpose, if a bit convoluted. it has always been me, trying to find what truly brings my mind peace. it has been confusing but looking back I'm glad I pushed through with my gut instincts, because now I get to live the country dream with complete abandon, no regrets

I suppose it also helps to observe how your mates are just infused with that citylife tension, and be glad that it's them getting on the train/plane back to that, not you...